Decoding the Curse of Procrastination: When Simple New Year’s Resolutions Are the Key

Watermelon
8 min readFeb 16, 2024

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Have you ever set a bold New Year’s resolution and wondered why you failed? 🤔 Have you ever wondered if we are setting goals the wrong way? In this article, we will explore how to “set soft goals” to break the New Year’s curse of procrastination. From realizing we’re falling into the “slogan” trap to why our brains resist big changes. Let’s learn how to set goals that are more realistic, closer to yourself, and how to make these goals more interesting and easier to pursue. What happens if you try to “downgrade” your goals? Read on to learn how to turn your New Year’s resolutions into small wins that lead to big successes!

Chapter 1: Setting Goals — Where Are You Going Wrong?

So, you’ve set a New Year’s resolution. Maybe it was to read 20 books, wake up at 5 AM every day, or save a chunk of money. And, like clockwork, by February, you’re back to your old habits, wondering where things went wrong. Sound familiar? 🙈

Here’s the thing: setting big, bold goals is exciting. It makes us feel like we’re on the verge of something great. But, more often than not, these goals set us up for failure. Why? Because they’re not always realistic or tailored to our current habits and lifestyles.

Take, for example, my own story. One year, I vowed to read 50 books. As someone who barely finished 10 the previous year, this was a stretch. My enthusiasm waned by March, and by June, the goal was a distant memory. The issue wasn’t my love for reading but the gap between my ambition and my reality.

The Importance of Feasible Goals

Setting achievable goals is crucial because it aligns with our actual capacity to change. Big leaps sound appealing but often overlook the small, consistent steps needed to get there. When we set goals too high, we’re not factoring in the learning curve, the days when life gets in the way, or our need for rest.

Chapter 2: The “Slogan” Trap and Your Brain’s Resistance

Now, let’s talk about the “slogan” trap. You know, those bold declarations that are more about sounding impressive than being actionable. “I’ll run a marathon this year,” or “I’ll double my income,” sound great on paper, but they lack the structure and personal connection needed to make them stick.

Why Our Brains Push Back

Our brains are wired to protect us from failure. When we set goals that are too ambitious, our amygdala (the part of the brain that deals with emotions) signals danger. It’s like our brain saying, “Whoa, this looks hard. Let’s not set ourselves up for disappointment.”

This protective mechanism can cause us to procrastinate or give up at the first sign of difficulty. It’s not that we’re lazy or incapable; our brains are just trying to keep us safe from the discomfort of failure.

Reducing the Impact of “Slogans”

To combat this, we need to set goals that are challenging yet achievable. Instead of “running a marathon,” how about “running three times a week”? This goal is specific, measurable, and more importantly, it’s a habit that builds up to potentially running a marathon one day.

By setting smaller, more realistic goals, we can trick our brain into cooperating. It’s about making progress, not setting the world on fire overnight. And when we achieve these smaller goals, we build confidence, which in turn, reduces our brain’s resistance to bigger challenges.

So, as we dive into setting “soft goals,” remember, the aim is not to aim low but to aim accurately. It’s about knowing yourself, understanding your limits, and expanding them gently. Stay tuned as we explore how to apply this approach to various aspects of life, ensuring that this New Year’s resolution won’t just be another forgotten slogan by spring.

Chapter 3: “Setting Soft Goals” — A Magical Solution?

Ever heard the phrase “Go big or go home”? Well, I’m here to tell you that sometimes, going small is the real winner. Let’s talk about setting “soft goals,” a method that’s been a game-changer for me and many others.

Imagine deciding to wake up early every day. Sounds simple, right? But if you’re a night owl, setting a goal to wake up at 5 AM from day one is like climbing Everest in flip-flops. I’ve been there, setting my alarm with all the determination in the world, only to hit snooze until it’s practically lunchtime.

A Tale of Two Goals

Let’s compare two scenarios. In the first, I aimed to wake up at 5 AM every day to write. The result? A week of groggy mornings followed by a quick return to my old habits. Then, I tried a “soft goal”: gradually waking up 15 minutes earlier than usual, aiming for a 7 AM start. This smaller, more manageable change stuck. Not only did I achieve my goal, but I also maintained it without feeling overwhelmed.

The Magic Behind Soft Goals

Soft goals work because they’re kinder to us. They acknowledge our current habits and gently nudge us toward improvement. Instead of aiming to read 50 books a year out of nowhere, start with a chapter a night. Want to exercise more? Forget the marathon for now and aim for a 10-minute walk each day. These goals are like stepping stones, leading us to bigger achievements without the intimidation factor.

Chapter 4: From Theory to Practice — Applying New Goal-Setting Techniques

Now, how do we apply these “soft goals” in real life? Let’s take the example of saving money, a common New Year’s resolution that often fails because of unrealistic expectations.

Step-by-Step to a “Soft Goal” Success

  1. Start Small: Instead of aiming to save a large amount immediately, start by setting aside a small percentage of your income each month. Even 1% is a start.
  2. Track Your Spending: Use an app or a notebook to see where your money goes. Awareness is the first step to control.
  3. Cut Back Gradually: Identify one unnecessary expense you can reduce or eliminate each month. Maybe it’s that daily coffee shop visit; try reducing it to once a week.
  4. Celebrate Small Wins: Each month you successfully save, reward yourself with a small treat. This positive reinforcement makes the process enjoyable.

Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

  • Setting Goals Too High: If you find yourself repeatedly failing to meet your savings goal, it might be too ambitious. Scale back and set a more achievable target.
  • Forgetting Your Why: Keep reminding yourself why saving money is important to you. Whether it’s for an emergency fund, a vacation, or a major purchase, your “why” will keep you motivated.
  • Neglecting to Review and Adjust: Life changes, and so should your goals. Review your progress monthly and adjust your strategies as needed.

By following these steps and embracing the philosophy of “soft goals,” you’ll find that achieving your New Year’s resolutions is not only possible but also enjoyable. Remember, the key to success is patience, persistence, and a positive attitude. Here’s to making those soft goals and turning them into concrete achievements!

Chapter 5: Small Wins Leading to Big Success

Have you ever noticed how a series of small victories can feel like winning the lottery? Well, that’s the magic of celebrating small wins on your way to big achievements. Let me share a story that illuminates this beautifully.

The Power of Small Wins

Last year, I set a goal to improve my fitness. Instead of aiming to run a marathon right off the bat, I started with a “soft goal”: to jog for 10 minutes a day, three times a week. Initially, it seemed insignificant. However, these small sessions quickly added up, building my stamina and confidence. By acknowledging each little victory, like the first week I didn’t miss a single jog, I felt a surge of motivation. Six months later, not only had I built a solid jogging habit, but I also completed my first half-marathon.

Why Recognizing Each Step Matters

Acknowledging each small win is crucial because it provides a continuous stream of motivation. It’s easy to lose sight of our progress when we only focus on the end goal. Celebrating the little achievements keeps us engaged and reminds us that we’re moving in the right direction. This approach turns the daunting journey toward a big goal into a series of manageable and enjoyable steps.

Chapter 6: Connecting With Yourself — The Ultimate Key

Now, let’s dive deeper into the essence of setting and achieving goals: connecting with yourself. Understanding and accepting who you are is paramount in this journey. My own experience with self-discovery was a game-changer in how I approached goal setting.

My Journey of Self-Discovery

A few years ago, I felt lost, jumping from one goal to another without real passion or success. It was a cycle of setting ambitious goals, failing, and feeling worse about myself. Then, I took a step back to really explore my interests, strengths, and weaknesses. This period of self-reflection was eye-opening. I realized I was chasing goals that sounded good but didn’t align with my true self.

How Self-Connection Fuels Motivation

By understanding my authentic self, setting goals became a more intuitive and rewarding process. I started setting goals that genuinely excited me and aligned with my capabilities. This shift not only made the journey more enjoyable but also increased my perseverance. When obstacles arose, my deeper connection to these goals provided the resilience to overcome them.

Connecting with your inner self transforms goal setting from a superficial task into a meaningful journey. It’s about aligning your goals with your core values and passions. This alignment is the fuel that will keep you motivated, help you overcome challenges, and ultimately lead to fulfilling your potential.

Embracing the Journey

Remember, the path to achieving your goals is as important as the goals themselves. By celebrating small wins and connecting with your true self, you’ll find that you’re not only achieving your goals but also discovering joy and fulfillment in the journey. So, take a moment to reflect, connect, and set those soft goals. The journey ahead is yours to shape.

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